


Finn and The Trouble with Making Friends

by Awerka



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Multi, Star Wars does Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 19:10:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6717850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awerka/pseuds/Awerka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Star Wars AU set in the Harry Potter Universe.</p><p>Getting his Hogwarts letter was the best thing Finn had ever had happen to him. He was finally going to get to practise magic, make some friends and have a normal life. He was dropped off at Platform 9 3/4 and now all he had to do was make some friends...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Hogwarts Express - Time to make Friends

So much noise rained down around him. Owls screeching, kids bashing their trolleys around the place, trunks being dragged unceremoniously across the floor. Finn just stood and took it all in, breathing in the stifling smoke filled air. Families lingered on the platform making it impossible to get to the train without pushing past. Finn didn't mind. He'd been crowded since he could remember. Be one of the crowd, he told himself, not a individual.

That was all going to change as soon as he got through this crowd.

Finn decided that at Hogwarts at least he was going to be free. He was going to be Finn. He wasn't going to listen to orders or be a underling. He was going to make friends and be important as part of a group.

Well important enough.

He pushed his trolley straight up to the train. He thought he'd done it with little to no fuss but in actual fact he left a few broken toes along the way. He pushed his trolley in front of a open door and started to wonder how he was going to get it onto the train when he heard two squabbling voices behind him. The voices belonged to two boys the same age as Finn. The shorter one who had fiery ginger hair slicked back neatly, talked with a lisp and was trying to motivate the taller dark haired boy to get the trunks on the train BEFORE he ran off to flirt with girls. The taller of the two had his wand out in a obvious attempt to magic the trunks onto the train, much to the chagrin of the shorter boy. Finn could see the anger rise red in the boys face whilst his friend looked bored of the argument. Finn couldn't help but think that they had probably had this kind of argument before. Seeing a opportunity not only to get help but to make friends Finn swung his trolley around and pushed it towards the two boys.

"Ben, you know full well we are not allowed to use magic before we get to the school. You'd think you'd want to avoid getting in trouble on your very first day. You know what your mother is like."  
"I get it, I get it. You're too scared that someone will care if two kids use magic so we have to get the trunks on ourselves.. Fine. But I've told you before not to call me that in front of all these people. Ben isn't my name any more, call me it once more and I'll hex you were you stand Hux."

Sensing they were being watched the taller of them, Not Ben, turned to look at Finn who smiled weakly at them both and waved. The smile wavered and the hand fell to his side when he felt the intensity of the glares he was faced with.

"What do you want?" Not Ben said in his lazy high pitched voice. "Well... I heard you were having problems getting your trunks on board and I thought I'd come and help. I'm here on my own so I kinda need the help."

The smaller of the two, Hux or Hex or something like that, nodded curtly at Finn. Between the three of them they managed to get all three trunks into a compartment, the only other occupant being a tall girl who neither paid them any attention or offered to help.

They all sat waiting for the train to leave, Finn sat next to the girl but she said nothing to him. In the end he just spent his time watching the two boys squabble.

From their arguments he deduced that Not Ben liked to be called Kyle or Kylo or something like that. The shorter boy was indeed called Hux and his sneering lispy voice made it hard to catch what he was calling the other boy other then he was calling him it with contempt.

When the train started to move Finn felt the excitement settle in the carriage, the other two boys stopped squabbling and instead the conversation turned to what house they'd all be sorted into. A conversation that Finn was allowed to join in with.

"Well, my parents want me to join Ravenclaw" Hux said proudly "apparently it is where my father was put and they can't see me going anywhere else."

Kyle made a ugly face at Hux before answering himself. "I'll be Slytherin like my Grandfather. He was one of the greatest Wizards of all time, he..." but Finn never got to hear what Kyle's grandfather had done as Hux cut him off "yes, yes I'm sure EVERYONE will hear all about your grandfather and what he did. I've heard it about 100 times, I don't need to hear it again. Then again... What about your mother? Or your father?" A sly grin spread across Hux's face, knowing it was a touchy subject, whilst Kyle flinched at the mention of his parents and turned white "what of them? I'm more like my Grandfather then either of them." Changing the subject he looked up at Finn "and what about you?" Finn lost his train of thought under the firey look that Kyle had thrown him. "M...M...Me?" he managed to stammer weakly before the girl answered instead. "I will also be in Slytherin. It is the grandest of the Houses and any other is weak." They all looked at her, she hadn't turned her gaze from the window, after a moment wondering if she'd say something else the two boys returned their gazes to Finn.

It was time for him to answer, he hadn't thought about it. Did it matter? Obviously it did. "Well... I guess Slytherin would be a good House?" The wrong answer. If looks could kill Kyle had murdered him two or three times over already. Hux just shrugged and changed the conversation.

Finn couldn't keep up with them, they talked seamlessly together. The two seemed to have known each other for a long time. It didn't matter to Finn though, he felt like he'd made friends.

Hours into the journey there came a crash from outside which made Hux raise his eyebrow. Finn had realised he was someone who wouldn't waste any emotions on anything he thought of as unimportant. Unless it was arguing with Kyle.

Kyle on the other hand seemed to love to be in the thick of any and all drama, being the cause of much of it in Hux's life. Or at least Hux liked to make it sound that way. Kyle stood up and opened the door just to have a boy with a mass of dark wavy hair fall onto him. Hux tried, and failed, to hide a smile whilst Finn just sat there with his mouth wide open. The girl in the corner stood up and picked up the newcomer in one hand like he weighed nothing.

"Ohhh I'm sorry, we were playing in the corridors. I just so happened to be leaning on the door when you opened it." He looked around the compartment with a big smile on his face. Not getting the feeling of not being wanted he continued as Kyle picked himself off the floor. "First years as well? I'm Poe, Poe Dameron. Any of you Quidditch fans? I plan on being the greatest Quidditch player the world has ever seen." He smiled even wider but his announcement hadn't impressed anyone. Kyle wiped dust off his clothes and glared at him. "I hope you have better balance on a broom then you have on your feet." The anger poured into every word but Poe seemed unaware that he'd just pissed someone off. Laughing he turned to face Kyle "yeah sorry about that again!" There was a silence before Hux, obviously enjoying the moment but fast to take control, decided to end this. "I think we can let him go now yes? We wouldn't want to spoil his and his friends little game now would we?" The girl nodded slightly, dropping Poe to the floor. Poe stood up, smiled again and left. Kyle stood leant against the window, his fists balled up in rage. "Well, now you've had your fun I think we better start getting ready. Its getting dark so I'm sure we're nearly there." Hux was terrible at hiding his joy at seeing his friend being knocked over but everyone agreed that it was indeed time to get ready.

Finn waited out in the corridor with Hux and Kyle while the girl got ready, when she was ready she marched out, towering over all three of them. It was the boys turn to get ready, it wasn't a easy thing to do, all three had longish limbs and kept hitting each other as they removed their muggle clothes. Hux got the worst of the battering from Kyle, getting angrier at every fake apology. Finn couldn't help but be impressed, all three were wearing the same uniform but whilst his hung off him Hux had managed to make himself look neat and commanding whilst Kyle's flowed around him.

Finally they arrived, the announcement told them to leave their things which sent a sigh of relief from Finn who had no idea if he could get his trunk off the train again. He followed his new friends off and could see Poe exiting not far from them with a girl who looked just as annoyed at him as they were. Or... Had he been annoying? Finn wasn't too sure if he had found him that annoying, he was nice, but he wasn't going to admit that.

A giant creature was calling out for the first years to follow it. Or that is what they gathered, it had big ears and a long tongue and no one understood a word it was actually saying.

"I can't believe they'd entrust first years to a Gungan" spat Hux, his distaste for this funny creature showing on every inch of his face. The first years were put on boats which hurried them across the lake to the castle on the far side. Finn stared at it, mouth hanging open once more. It was the biggest thing he'd seen in his life. No one else on his boat seemed impressed. Kyle just stared at it with hatred. On the other side they were escorted up to the castle, across the great hall into a small room. Finn could hear voices coming from the main chamber and suddenly felt very small, he tried to keep close to Kyle and Hux but they seemed to have forgotten him.

Suddenly a lady appeared before them and introduced herself as Deputy Head Mistress Professor Leia, she led them into the Great Hall. Finn couldn't find his breath, he was nervous. So many people looking at him. For the first time ever he hoped they were just looking at him as part of the crowd and not a individual. He didn't know how they were going to be picked for the various Houses but he didn't like the attention he was getting. Hux had a look of complete concentration on his face, he was deathly pale anyway so it was hard to tell much from his complexion. It was impossible to tell how the girl was feeling, she just stared straight ahead. As for Kyle something seemed odd about him, for the first time Finn felt real scared looking at him, he seemed to emit electricity from him. They were marched towards a high table where the professors all sat. Some looked wise, others looked terrifying but the Headmaster smiled kindly at them as he sat cross legged at the middle of the table.

Professor Leia put down a stool with a old battered hat on top of it. Finn looked at it in confused silence, suddenly it screamed out a song that didn't leave anyone feeling comfortable...

Long, long ago,  


In a hat shop far away,  


I was stitched together by the Force,  


To judge all that I see.  


Helping balance out the order,  


You couldn't trust a good old helmet,  


Nothing truly knows you better,  


Then the Force that awaits in me.  


You can hide nothing from my greatness,  


When you put me on your head,  


I'm the only creation in this Galaxy,  


Who can tell you where you ought to be.  


You might belong in Gryffindor,  


Where dwell the brave at heart,  


Their crazy stunts and endless meddling,  


Set Gryffindors apart.  


You might belong in Hufflepuff,  


The House you'll never hear from,  


As they don't have a part to play,  


Only background characters get sorted there.  


Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,  


If your smart enough to beat me,  


I have a question I must ask you all,  


I doubt none of you will beat me.  


Or perhaps in Slytherin,  


You'll make your real friends,  


They're all ass holes the whole lot of them,  


But at least they don't try and hide it.  


So come try me on, don't pee your pants,  


Lets have a little chat,  


I'm the safest thing in this story,  


For I'm just a stupid hat. 

Finn glared in anger at the hat which was bowing before the four House tables. He couldn't believe a school would put their students futures into a talking hat that just insulted pretty much everyone in the room. Hux, who was stood next to him, didn't seem to have paid attention. In fact him and Kyle were arguing again under their breath.

Suddenly names were being called out.

"Peeches, Alijose" Professor Leia called out.

A girl pushed past Finn, turning around to glare at him, and walked towards the hat. Within seconds of putting the hat on the hat screamed out "HUFFLEPUFF" and the girl jogged off to her table. Finn sniffed in triumph. What had that mangy old hat said? "The House you'll never see?" Ha! That will teach her right. Finn wasn't going to be forgotten in a House that didn't matter.

Clindarr, Burmridi was up next. He ran up, fell over the top stair and jammed the hat so far own his head that after it screamed "HUFFLEPUFF" Leia had to yank it back of for him.

Well... This was going well thought Finn, embarrassed at his own First Year comrades.

Camrow, Jeffnew and Dormela, Landrus were both Ravenclaws. Dameron, Poe was put in Gryffindor, his smile back on his smug face. Dejsha, Rakshi was a Gryffindor too whilst his twin brother Dejsha, Austray was the first Slytherin.

Then came Finn's turn. He looked towards Hux who was paying no attention. He walked up to the hat and turned seeing that finally Hux and Kyle were paying attention. The hat was placed on his head and a voice inside his head sharply demanded a answer to "if you were to build a Death Star is there a problem with putting a hole in it? Even a tiny little one? And even though its floating in space?" Finn hesitated, the hat did say it had a question to ask, knowing that Hux would know the answer he swore in his mind "Language" the hat replied before Finn answered "No?" "GRYFFINDOR" shouted the hat.

Instantly Finn knew this was the wrong House. The Gryffindors were up on their feet cheering, Poe was jumping up and down and giving him the thumbs up, Finn sat as far away from him as he could, back to the Slytherin table hoping that at least he would be able to talk to Kyle if he was indeed sorted into Slytherin.

When Hux was called Finn was certain that he could see a exasperated look on his face. Finn was pretty sure that when the hat shouted out "SLYTHERIN" he understood the look, he'd decided to answer the question wrong to be put in a House with Kyle. The hat itself seemed to be humoured when he called it out, Hux marched to the Slytherin table and sat directly bhind Finn. It felt like Hux didn't care where Finn had been sitting and it was just a coincidence they ended up back to back.

When it came to Kyle's name Finn was surprised to learn that he was actually a Kylo. The name seemed to deeply upset Leia, as he swept past her, his magnificent hair flowing behind him, she looked at him sadly. The hat didn't even need to be placed on his head before it screamed out in pain "SLYTHERIN" and as he walked to join Hux Leia put one hand over her eyes. He wondered what it was that Kylo's Grandfather had done because even other teachers on the table looked upset, one looked beside himself.

The girl that had been with Poe turned out to be a Rey, she also turned out to be a Gryffindor and also refused to sit anywhere near Poe. The girl that had sat next to Finn turned out to be called Phasma and was also instantly made a Slytherin. It might have been her dream to be with them but her face was as emotionless as it had been all day. Finn started to feel real lonely now, he might have been sorted into a House with a friendly bunch of people but his friends weren't there with him. It felt like the universe was out to get him.

The little green Headmaster had cleared his throat. Everyone went silent.

"Meal Time it is. Enjoy it you will."

As Finn tried to understand what the Headmaster had said food appeared in front of him. He heard more squabbling behind him and had the sudden urge to turn around and listen to his two friends as he had done so on the train. The thought was bubbling inside of him when a handful of mash potato came flying out of nowhere and hit him square in the face. The stern voice of Professor Leia telling Poe to behave was drowned out by the laughing that was coming from Poe.

Finn couldn't tell if he liked Poe or not but before he could ponder on it any more Kylo slammed his fist down on the Gryffindor table and turned his full attention to Poe. "Do that again to my minion and I'll make you choke on all the mash potato in the world." Finn was happy that Kylo had stuck up for him but was worried about the use of the word minion, he muttered his thanks as Kylo returned to argue with Hux who hadn't even turned.

Well at least he had friends.

After the food had disappeared the Headmaster continued to talk in his strange way, Finn was sure he was telling everyone where they could and couldn't go but he wasn't too sure. He wished someone would tell the guy to speak properly but it seemed that everyone else understood him perfectly.

He missed being told to leave, suddenly everyone was raising from their seats and Finn found himself being pulled up by a older boy and dragged along being told that if he sat there with his mouth open for too much longer they'd send him off to Hufflepuff. In the hallway Finn saw Hux and Kylo being flanked by Phasma disappearing into a door in the wall. He was sure the boy that was showing them the way up to their common room was taking the piss, they seemed to be taking a long tour of the whole castle. When they finally stopped at a painting of a Gold Robot Finn was knackered. The boy who had been leading the way looked straight in the Robots eyes.... Or straight into the painted on Robot looking eyes and shouted "PADAWAN and no we don't need to hear any of your stories just open the damned door." The Robot, as much as it could in its painting, looked taken aback. "Oh I'm so sorry if you don't like my stories young Sir. I'm sure maybe next time I could interest you in one." It hurried about moving out of the way and suddenly the painting swung open, hitting one of the other first years who wasn't expecting it to swing open, and unveiling the doorway to the Gryffindor Common Room.

Finn had known the older boy had been taking the piss, the rest of the Gryffindors were already in the room, all the chairs had been taken and he guess it was the right of passage. The younger guys being kept behind so the older ones could chill out. Finn found his bedroom, he had to share with the other First Years which just so happened to mean he was going to spend the next few years of his life in the same room as Poe. Again he couldn't tell whether this was good or bad news but remembering how angry Kylo had been for the last few hours with Poe he decided he understood that Poe was the enemy. When Poe finally came upstairs to bed Finn glared at him. Poe stopped in his tracks "are you alright? You look like you might be sick." Finn growled, not taking his eyes off of Poe as he got ready for bed, he climbed into the bed and pulled the curtains around him still glaring at Poe.

Five minutes later as Poe was sitting on the edge of his bed talking to the others he saw Finn's hand reaching out from between his curtains. His diary was on the bedside cabinet next to him, Poe watched him grope for it for a few seconds before picking it up and placing it in Finn's hand. Finn growled withdrawing his hand, then thought better of it and mumbled "thanks" to Poe who replied "no problems."

_Dear Diary,_

_You won't believe it! My first day at Hogwarts and I already have three friends and a enemy! I don't understand what the Headmaster says and its obvious that everyone here is batshit crazy but I'm here! I'm really here!_

_Tomorrow I get to learn all about magic. I hope we have loads and loads of lessons with the Slytherin's as my friends all got sorted into that House. I ended up in Gryffindor. I don't understand why, I don't meddle and I also don't do crazy shit. Plus I'm not very brave. I really wanted to go to Slytherin apparently that is where you find your true friends. No wonder all my friends were in Slytherin. Though if I ever decide to become Headmaster of this school the first thing I'm doing is burning that hat._

_Oh and I'm sharing a bedroom with a idiot._

_This is so exciting!!!  
Finn_

_P.S. Reminder to self. find out why I'm Kylo's minion."_


	2. First Breakfast - May the Bacon be with you...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn ventures forth on his first day at Hogwarts...

It was extremely early in the morning when a excited Finn woke up. He pulled apart the curtains to his bedroom and it was still dark outside. He couldn't help it, he was excited. Pulling on his clothes he was careful not to wake anyone in his dorm, unfortunately he wasn't so careful when he slammed the door behind him. Neither did he care or know that he'd woken the rest of the first years as he'd run down the spiral staircase two at a time to find the common room empty.

He paced the room a few times before the excited energy got hold of him and he marched out of the portrait hole on his journey to the Great Hall. The robot in the portrait stammered behind him but he didn't hear, he also didn't know that seconds after he left Poe came through the door to the staircase hoping to talk to him. Poe was disappointed not to be able to talk to Finn before breakfast but decided a extra hour or two in bed would probably be for the best, after all it was 3am.

It took a few hours but the sun hadn't been up for long when Finn decided he was lost. He was sat next to a ugly looking statue wondering how it could be so hard to find the downstairs. The staircases moved, at one point he was walking down them just to find out he was walking across them instead. One corridor he managed to walk down about five times before realising it was the same one.

Suddenly a ghost floated through the statue, Finn let out a terrified scream and made a run for it. He tripped at the top of one staircase, he was sure the suit of armour had put its foot out and tripped him, and went tumbling down two flights of stairs. Finally he was sat, quite roughly, on the floor in front of the Great Hall. The noise coming from the Hall made him nervous, the whole school seemed to be in there already.

He looked around the door and saw everyone was too busy eating and talking to notice him. He straightened himself up and turned back to the door to walk through the open side and instead hit himself in the face with the closed side. Slightly more bruised he tried walking through the door a little less forcefully hoping no one had noticed.

Poe had.

Sitting in the middle of the table with his back to the Ravenclaws Poe was sat there staring at him with a smile on his face. He stood up when he saw that Finn had noticed him and waved energetically with a piece of toast in his hand. Poe raised his eyebrow but couldn't help notice the plate of bacon next to him. His stomach rumbled but he put it to the back of his mind and instead looked for his friends on the Slytherin table. 

It didn't take long for him to find them.

Kylo was easy to spot with his long, flowing hair, Phasma just towered over just about everyone and whilst Hux was smaller then the other two the aura of control just drew your eyes to him.

Finn looked back at the bacon that Poe was pointing at and wiggling his eyebrows towards Finn and instead turned his nose up at Poe, made a snort that he hoped he heard from across the room and strutted off to sit with... Or at least behind his friends.

His strut managed to last for about three seconds before he walked into a random Hufflepuff, knowing they were out of place being a background character they apologised and ran off to their table, Finn mumbled a sorry and felt a fool for trying to strut. In fact he felt a complete prat. He didn't have any of the attitude or elegance of Hux or Kylo so he turned his nose up to Poe again, made a even ruder sniff, then shuffled off to where his friends were. He elbowed the two House mates who were sat directly behind them, the two older boys eyed him up, the bigger of the two was just finding the right words to scold the first year who was getting too big for his own boots before the intense glare of Kylo Ren turned his head. He remembered the mash potato threat from the night before and with a look at his friend realised how much he would love to be a background character and hurried off to join their new home of Hufflepuff never to be written about again.

None of this registered to Finn who just smiled at Kylo who had felt his presence as he joined them and suddenly turned his attention on Finn.

"Peasant, we have Potions together this morning, you shall..."

What Finn "shall" do he never learned as Hux let out a snort of amusement and once more interrupted his friend.

"With your upbringing BEN you can hardly accuse others of being peasants, not only that your mother being Deputy Headmistress and your father running around teaching imbeciles to fall off brooms does not give you the given right to bully those poor souls below us around."

Finn felt the pang of happiness swell inside him. He knew that Kylo was only joking but for Hux to stick up for him, well, he knew which of the two he preferred. Hux turned only slightly so that he could see Finn out of the corner of his eye and so that Finn could only JUST figure out that he was talking to him. Kylo looked like he could kill Hux, anger was in his eyes and his fists were clenched. He looked ready to hex his friend but instead just glared.

"Whoever you are, we have joint lessons with your diabolical House. First of these joint lessons just so happens to be Potions. It also just so happens to be our very first lesson. You shall sit beside Kylo, he isn't very smart and whilst I doubt you are much smarter then him you will still be able to help him..."

Hux talked too fast for Finn. His voice was so authoritative that Finn found himself struggling to stop himself from standing up and saluting to him and replying "Yes Sir" to everything he said. He felt safe to just follow what Hux said, it took a while for it to dawn on him that Hux had said he was below him but he didn't have time to think about it when his mind suddenly realised Hux was still talking.

"... when we finally get to our lesson on Thursday with Professor Solo learning how to fly a broomstick you shall NOT out fly any Slytherin. You are also NOT to laugh or even NOTICE the pain on Kylo's face at being taught by his father. I am the only person allowed to find joy in his pain. So Whoever You Are, where is your timetable so I can sort out study dates for you and Kylo?"

Finn just started at Hux open mouthed. Words were swirling in his head. Broomsticks, fathers, lessons, timetables, dates... He was sure he'd been insulted a good few times but he was completely lost. His brows knitted together as he tried to figure out what Hux had asked him, he relaxed thinking it was a joke and let out a half laugh. Hux turned to look him fully in the face, even Kylo raised a eyebrow, the colour draining a little from his face.

"Timetable, NOW."

Hux demand came at a bark. Finn's hands went automatically to patting the front of his robes, he didn't have a timetable, he knew he didn't, he didn't even know where to get them from. 

A sudden bark of laughter came from Phasma and startled all three of her male companions.

"Stupid Gryffindor doesn't even have a timetable. It is a wonder they let him into Hogwarts at all."

It was the only thing she said, her face stayed impassive.

Suddenly something flew off the side of Finn's head and hit Hux square in the face. Finn's mouth dropped open into a O, evil flashed in both Hux and Kylo's face. Times like this was when it was obvious how much the smaller of the two boys meant to the taller of them. The flicker of raw emotion passed quickly and a even eviller smile crept to the side of Kylo's mouth. Hux held out his hand, stopping any kind of retort from Kylo, he bent down and picked up the ball of paper slowly flattening it. At the top was Poe Dameron's name.

Kylo saw the name and growled, he grabbed hold of it tearing it in two and stood up. He glared across at Poe who was sat there smiling his big smile with bacon hanging out of his mouth. He had what looked like a years worth of bacon stuffed between two pieces of toast and Finn suddenly realised that he was extremely hungry. His stomach rumbled but this wasn't the time for food. Poe stood to match Kylo's glare, bacon falling from the side of his sandwich, smile plastered on his face.

"You, Idiot, you seem to have a penchant for throwing things."

Poe grinned.

"I heard you wanted a timetable for some dates or something. Obviously all mine and Finn's lessons are the same so thought you could use mine, he wasn't awake when we got ours handed out so he can have mine."

Kylo glared at him holding his hand in Poe's direction, his half of the torn timetable was poking between his now once more grasped fist. Finn decided that if Poe hadn't ruined things with his friend by Christmas he'd buy Kylo a pair of gloves, fist clenching couldn't be easy for his hands and gloves might help.

"I thought I told you yesterday to stop throwing things at my minion. He is not some target for a Idiot like yourself. If anyone is to throw things at him it'll be ME."

Finn nodded along only stopping and raising a questioning look at his saviour when he mentioned throwing things at him. Poe stood up, waving the bacon sandwich in front of him like a wand and sending bacon flying everywhere. There were screams from all the tables as bacon was flung all around.

"Well I am telling YOU right here and right NOW that FINN isn't you 'minion' he is a proud Gryffindor. I was only trying to help your small pale friend organise your love life, it isn't my fault that you seem to have trouble asking people out for dates or to sit next to you in class."

The more animated Poe got the more bacon went flying and with every word Kylo was turning more and more red.

Finn didn't think anything could get worse until a particularly large bit of bacon that had been drowned in tomato sauce was flung straight into Kylo's face, splattering everywhere and getting sauce into his perfect wavey locks.

No one laughed. Not even Hux. Everyone knew this was bad.

Thankfully before anything more could be said or done Professor Leia came gliding down the gap between the two tables. The whole hall turned to watch her decent on the two boys.

"Poe Dameron. Please will you stop waving that sandwich around, the whole room does not feel like being attacked by bacon this early in the morning. I'm pretty sure you'll find some dead carrot choppings in your bed thanks to rather angry vegetarian students. As for you Ben Solo will you please put your fist down and go was your face, its such a pretty...."

Kylo turned, his face a mask of hatred and anger that made even the stern faced Professor falter. He scrunched the ball in his fist and threw it at her feet before storming off. Finn stopped breathing and looked from the screwed up ball slowly to the Professors face. For a moment he thought he could see tears forming in the corner of her eyes but just as suddenly her face turned to stone and she turned back towards the Gryffindor table. The intense heat of anger made all people on the left side of the Hall take a step back and a few weak willed Hufflepuffs pee in their pants.

"Mr Dameron, the only reason I am not taking any points from Gryffindor is because it is first thing in the morning on the first day. Any more bacon massacres and I'll not only take points from my own House, I will take so many that you'll never be able to make them up again. Instead of taking them away I shall reward 50 points to Slytherin for the damage you did to poor Mr Sol... I mean Mr Ren's hair. Hux please pass this bacon Knight his timetable, BOTH HALVES PLEASE. And as for you Mr I Have No Surname Finn..."

Finn felt her eyes turn to him and he gulped.

"Again as this is the first morning I can hardly take away points you have yet to earn so I shall award another 50 points EACH to the three young Slytherin students who seem to have taken you under their wing. Please let this be a warning for you, DO NOT miss breakfast again. If you are late it will be a automatic 10 points from your House. Now here is YOUR timetable and please, for the love of the Force, help Kylo in all his lessons please. He's a gentle soul really, he's just going through a phase."

With that she thrust the timetable into Finn's face and glided back towards the teachers table. Heads turning to watch her go.

For the first time Finn realised how quiet the Hall really was. Obviously having no baring on the story all Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs had just sat down to eat quietly anyway, most students were now de-baconing themselves and helping the fainted vegetarians come too after being attacked so violently by flying meat.

Finn felt like the spotlight was on him, a sensation that soon went when Phasma picked him up by the collar and shoved him forward. He realised that breakfast was over and he still hadn't eaten. He hesitated then noticed that Hux had gone.

Hux was strutting, proper strutting, the kind of strut that you could march along behind safe in the knowledge that the stutter knew what he was doing, towards the Great Hall's doors. Phasma followed him, marching dominantly behind him. Finn shook himself awake and started to follow when a hand reached out and grabbed him, the weapon of mass bacon-struction was shoved in his mouth and he turned to see Poe had climbed over the table to him.

"Hey mate, noticed your pals weren't too concerned with feeding you. I made this sandwich for you, sorry some of the bacon got lost. You don't have to sit with them you know you can always sit with me."

Poe slapped him on the back which made Finn bite a considerable chunk of the sandwich off falling to the back of his throat and making him choke. Tears in his eyes he tried to follow the crowd to his first lesson.

It wasn't until he sat down that he noticed something was wrong. Not only was his robes covered in ketchup and bacon bits as well as spit, but the faces staring at him were the blank backgroundish faces of Hufflepuffs. The whole classes attention suddenly turned to a cat that was bounding towards him, it turned into Professor Leia right in front of him. Everyone gasped in amazement, Finn screamed in terror and fell off his chair.

"THAT. IS. IT. 100 Points from Gryffindor. The day hasn't even started and you have shown up late for breakfast, caused a fuss in the Great Hall and gone to the wrong classroom. Why did you NOT follow anyone from either your table or the table next to you going in the direction of the Potions Dungeon?!"

Finn stummered, not finding his voice, running away with a trail of bacon left behind him.


	3. You'll Fly with THAT Fool? You're a bigger Moron then I thought...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is only Thursday of the first week and Finn is not fitting in so well...

Who knew just how disastrous the first week of school could be? Finn's first week was just one long disaster. Mistake after mistake, fallen class mate after fallen class mate.

Well that was when Finn actually made it to the lesson in the first place.

After getting fed up of finding him in the wrong classroom, locked in one of the numerous cupboards by the resident mischievous poltergeist Boba Fett or just crying in the toilets, and on more then one occasion the GIRLS toilets, Professor Leia finally had enough and allowed Phasma to frogmarch Finn to Slytherin's lessons with her, Hux and Kylo.

First up had been Potions.

After arriving at the wrong class Finn had finally found his way to the Potions Dungeon where Professor Palpatine was not too happy to be interrupted by his late arrival. Class mates had sniggered at his tardy arrival but the joke was on them, it was probably safer Finn never arrived at a Potions lesson in the first place. Potions was nearly a daily lesson and by their second hour in the claustrophobic dungeon they were onto the practical part of the lessons. By Thursday Finn had already managed to destroy three cauldrons and give half the class a nasty rash that was slowly turning into stony scales. Safe to say whilst Palpatine was less then sympathetic to Finn's victims he also found it necessary to ban Finn from the practical parts of his lessons, which in Potions is pretty much all of the lessons, until the end of term.

His adopted Slytherin family had been OK. Hux had magic'd up a shield to stop them being hurt, by the look of Kylo lazily throwing ingredients into his cauldron whilst twirling his hair around his wand he hadn't even noticed his minion had done anything wrong.

Charms was just as bad.

Little hovering Professor Watto didn't want much from his class, in fact he found most mistakes absolutely hilarious. Or at least the class decided his barking laughter meant he found them hilarious, no one could really understand him. Slowly though the class were able to get around the communication problem and start levitating their feathers. Finn couldn't. When he finally had enough he screamed Leviosa at the feather and sent anything not nailed down sailing to the other side of the classroom and knocked poor Professor Wattor out cold. When he came too he to told Finn he was excluded from the practical parts of his lessons, which again was most of the lessons, until further notice. Or at least that was what the class gathered.

Hux was by far the best at Charms. He got the intricate wrist movements perfectly with his elegant way of moving. He spent most of the lesson arguing with Kylo over how he was pronouncing words and telling him to be less sloppy in his delivery of them. After Finn's accident whilst the rest of the class rushed to the help of Watto, Hux sent everything back to its rightful place, carefully organizing the classroom like the Hurricane of Finn had never happened. He received 500 points for Slytherin for doing so.

Transfiguration turned out to be worse in a different way.

Professor Leia had sensed blood with Finn. She transformed right in front of him in his first proper lesson with her like she had the day he'd sat in her class by accident. He screamed and fell off his chair, she was happy that her transformation had at least got a good reaction even if it was by the burk who had already seen it so should have been prepared. SHE didn't allow him to sit out practicals but under her icy glare it was no good, Finn couldn't perform even the simplest of transformations. Leia didn't even seem to be very loyal to Gryffindor, happily taking away as many points from Finn for failing to do even the simplest of magic as she gave to Hux who ended the week with a army of brightly colored beetles to his name.

Seeing them buzzing around him on their Wednesday class had made Finn shiver. He was thankful they wore robes at this school because he'd have hated to see the havoc that would ensure if Hux got really angry and turned everyone's buttons into beetles.

Defense Against the Dark Side was a scary lesson to be in.

It was one of two classes taken by a ghost. Professor Anakin had no qualms in starting his lessons with First Years on the scariest subject he possibly could. The curtains were always drawn and only the faintest flickering of one or two candles gave any light, dead things were nailed to the wall and a suit of armor that the Professor could possess to give him form in this world stood menacingly to attention at the front of the class. Professor Anakin decided to start their first lesson by just appearing in the middle of the room screaming at the top of his lungs sending the class into a frenzy. He told them none of them were ready for Vampires and we'd all be turned into a brain dead army, well all except for Kylo who hadn't moved, neither had Hux but he seemed to be being ignored by the Professor.

Strangely enough he was the only teacher that Kylo seemed to respect and hang on every word he said. It didn't surprise Finn that Kylo ended up being the number one student in such a scary class, though Finn felt like Hux was being ignored quite a lot by the ghostly professor, or that in some of his spare time Kylo was hanging out with the Professor in the classroom.

Finally there was History of Magic.

Kind and boring Professor Obi Wan stood at the front of the class and waffled on about Ewok Civil Rights, the Fall of Empires and Economics of Naboo. Finn found it fascinating but was the only member of the class that did. It was a easy subject with no practicals and all he had to do was take good notes and remember dates. Hidden in Professor Obi Wan's transparent babbling was story of heroes and villains, things that could make great action movies and actually engage kids in the world so that they didn't make the same mistake as the generations that came before them. Finn could see it in his head, unfortunately most of the people in this class room didn't because it was so boring and he wondered why Professor Obi Wan would make such a fascinating class so boring when it was so very important.

Not surprisingly of course was that the only other student who found the class even remotely interesting was Hux who was going to top every class if it killed him. He was the only student who interrupted Professor Obi Wan, especially when the Professor gave too much credit to the side Hux thought was in the wrong or just generally to ask confusing questions that no one but him and the Professor seemed to understand.

Looking back on the week so far and Finn realized just how much he'd ended up standing out, just not in the way he had been hoping for.

Crowds parted as they saw him coming. Students in all years and all Houses had heard of the First Year who seemed to just explode in magical outburst causing nothing but chaos in classes. His whole House tried to distance himself like he was some kind of plague bringer, the Sorting Hat had been wrong about Gryffindors. Brave his arse! The only person who would talk to him the small amount of time he spent in the Common Room was Poe. Not that he wanted Poe to talk to him but stopping him was a trick that Finn had yet to learn. Poe had taken a liking to Rey who still tried to stay as far from Poe as she could. Whilst they were kindred spirits in their attempts to avoid prolonged conversations with Poe, Finn just didn't like Rey. She seemed like trouble. Poe was trouble enough but his obsession with Rey made him even more troublesome. Thankfully Finn only had to spend time in the Common Room in the evenings.

Free time during the day were spent with his best friends. Or at least Hux, in the library writing out notes and doing homework. Mainly Kylo's notes and homework. Kylo had told him that being his minion meant doing his work for him so that he could go out and become the best he could be, what that meant Finn didn't know and other then visiting Professor Anakin he wasn't too sure what Kylo did or why he had a gaggle of girls, a term that he learnt from Hux, following him around the place. As he hadn't even managed to get to the end of the week without being banned from nearly every practical lesson he had Finn was now already a expert note taker. He took notes for himself, for Kylo and for Phasma. Hux didn't need notes taken by anyone, he had a extensive work of notes already that Finn had never actually seen him write but which seemed to appear after every class. Phasma would snatch her notes off Finn after each class ended before frogmarching him to their next lesson whilst Hux would take Kylo's from Finn after tea had ended in the Great Hall.

Thursday hit Finn like a brick to the cranium, it was the day everyone but Finn had been looking forward too.

Thursday was their first Flying Lesson.

After breakfast the Slytherins and Gryffindors marched out onto the front lawn to be greeted by their flying instructor Han Solo. Within seconds he'd explained to the class he wasn't a qualified professor so he wanted the boys to call him Mr Solo and the girls to call him Han. This was when the confusing behavior started all around Finn.

Girls giggled inanely as the boys tutted loudly.

Mr Solo was able to win the boys around when for the next ten minutes he allowed the class to fawn over his Millennium Falcon Mark IV broomstick, it was the latest model apparently and some famous Quidditch team was using them to qualify for the world cup. Girls crammed in closer just to get close to the instructor, boys from non-magical families found the Falcon more interesting then the beat up second hand Tie-Fighter series lying in neat rows on the floor in front of them, First Years weren't allowed their own broomsticks so the schools old brooms were what they learnt how to fly on, for those boys from Magical families the broomstick had the effect Mr Solo had hoped and talk of all the things you could do with a Falcon model was spreading everywhere. By the time the fawning was over Mr Solo had befriended Poe who became the only boy that was allowed to call him Han, he's also seemed to cast some magic spell over Troublemaker Rey who had a dreamy smile on her face as she hung to every word he said.

Finn didn't understand. He didn't understand at all.

The only other two students who hadn't gone to fawn over the broomstick was Hux and Kylo. Finn himself was too nervous, he didn't want to fly and had a feeling neither did Hux who looked like standing out here waiting to learn how to do this was a waste of his time. Kylo on the other hand just glared with white hot hatred at Mr Solo. It wasn't until later that something that Hux had said to him bobbed up in his memory.

_"... when we finally get to our lesson on Thursday with Professor Solo learning how to fly a broomstick you shall NOT out fly any Slytherin. You are also NOT to laugh or even NOTICE the pain on Kylo's face at being taught by his father. I am the only person allowed to find joy in his pain."_

If he had remembered that the hatred spreading out of Kylo and reaching out to Mr Solo would not have surprised him at all, also it would have distracted Finn trying to figure out how Professor Leia could possibly have spent enough time with Mr Solo to create a Kylo in the first place, his inane babbling and over the topness seemed to be at odds with the prim and proper Professor who was doing her best to terrifying the life out of Finn.

"Now first thing first. Boys, straddle that broom like you imagine your first time with a lady will be like, treat the broom with all the love and softness you'll give to a lady and the broom will see you fine."

He winked at the class.

Girls exploded in giggles, boys turned red and shuffled embarrassingly into place. Mr Solo had a nasty grin on his face.

Finn didn't understand. Why would you want to straddle a girl? Why was everyone acting so weird?

"Girls, to make sure the boys do get off the ground and we don't have any late bloomers please make sure to side straddle your broom. For you imagine the man who will come and sweep you off your feet and never put you down.

Another wink, more giggling, some sighing even, angry and embarrassed coughing and a lot more shuffling. Mr Solo's grin went from nasty to evil.

Finn just didn't get it. He wasn't a flower so why would he want to bloom? Where was the joke in all this, he was obviously missing out on something. A look at Kylo and Hux told him he wasn't the only one not getting this at all. Kylo was paying no attention whatsoever, holding his broom and looking at the opposite end of the grounds. Hux had turned red, probably in anger, and was glaring at the broomstick in his shaking hands as he held it quite tenderly for some reason.

Finn was perplexed.

"Now, I shall count to three. On the count of three you idiots will lightly kick off from the ground. Your brooms will do the rest and hover just enough over the ground that your feet won't touch anymore. After a few minutes I will give you the signal and you'll put some weight on the front end of the broom, something the girls will have to get used to no doubt with some of you troll built guys hanging around them, which will force the broom back down to the ground."

The instructions had come thick and fast and Finn wasn't sure he knew what he was doing. Kick off? Press down? Hover?

He didn't have any time to think though before he knew it Solo started his count "1...3!" and after brief confusing moment the rest of the class were slowly taking off from the ground.

Some went a little higher then others, some got it first time, others took a few attempts. 

Everyone got it though except for Finn.

He took a slightly longer time to recover from the unfair three count, no longer surprised that Mr Solo was not a professor if he couldn't even count. When he got his senses back he tried to kick off but his broom didn't take, he tried again feeling the eyes of the class on him but again nothing happened. He jumped a few times, some nervous laughter from the rest of the class but mainly just a slow movement from those around him as they suddenly realized how close they were to the Nightmare of Hogwarts, trying their best to get out of his danger radius one girl who just couldn't move her broom started to cry silently knowing she'd be in the middle of whatever disaster Finn was about to cause.

Anger bubbled in him. He let if fill him and closed his eyes. He was going to be good at one thing if it killed him and everyone in this school. He kicked off with all his might and felt his broom leave the ground. It wasn't a slightly movement though it felt like it was rocketing to the stars.

Finn panicked and let go.

He closed his eyes as he fell backwards, sure he was about to die.

After what felt like a eternity he opened his eyes and found himself staring into what he hoped was the concerned face of Hux.

"Am I dead?"

Hux snorted in that special way he reserved for Finn.

"You didn't even get off the ground, you jumped and let go of the broom and fell backwards onto the floor. It was rather inelegant."

Suddenly the rest of the class came back into focus and Finn's ears began to work again. He could hear them all laughing, most had brought their brooms down just by the sheer weight of doubling over with laughter, one or two had fallen off sideways which just made them and the people next to them howl with laughter even more. Even Mr Solo was crying with laughter hovering above the ground holding his sides like he was about to explode.

Finn just stared at the sky trying to drown them out, hot tears coming to the side of his eyes. Suddenly he saw something zooming around above Hux's head and pointed with little to no energy. Hux, being the only person not finding Finn absolutely hilarious, looked up and tutted.

Seconds later Mr Solo must have become aware of Finn pointing as his stern voice echo'd around the grounds telling the rogue student to stop pissing about and land right this second. Just as the figure landed cleanly on the lawn some distance from the rest of the class Professor Leia come storming out of the castle onto the grounds, completely ignoring Finn lying prone on the floor who had decided playing dead was the best option right now and flopped his arm feebly back to his side, and strode right to the figure in the distance who was swaggering his way back to the rest of the class.

It was Poe. Of course it was Poe.

Professor Leia grabbed him by the ear and dragged him into the castle. It stopped the laughing for a whole of three or four minutes before Mr Solo decided to reenact Finn's fall a few times before slappiny Finn on the back and telling him to get a sense of humor before dismissing the class for the day.

News of the lesson spread and by night fall everyone was doing "The Finn" in corridors, Common Rooms and even the Great Hall. It only ended when the deadly joint glare of Professors Leia and Obi Wan combined told the school it was time to finish eating and go to bed.

Hogwarts was NOT the place to be Finn.

_"Dear Diary,_

_It just isn't going my way at all. I don't think I have a magical bone in my body and being stuck at Hogwarts will do nothing for me then remind me of this every day. Someone told me that kids that don't figure out how to use their magic turn into monsters and die. I'm not sure I can even do that right! Though I have injured a lot of people this week._

_It has given me a weird nickname though in the corridors. Obscurburus or something..._

_Wish I was lucky like Poe. Don't tell Kylo though!!! We all thought he would be in trouble for messing around in our Flying lesson but instead they've made him the youngest person to join a Quidditch team in like a decade! That's like 4 or 5 years I think. Its a long time._

_Don't get me wrong he's still annoying and I don't like him much. I'd much rather be cool like Kylo, though I wish he'd get rid of all the girls. I don't think I could be like Hux, he's so uptight I think he's going to snap very soon._

_NOTE TO SELF! : Never wear anything with buttons near Hux and upset him!!!!_

_Phasma is just scary though. Why are girls so scary?!!!! They just giggle all the time and stare at you like they are judging you?! I don't understand!!!!_

_I'm now banned from all practical lessons including flying. Headmaster Yoda has confiscated my wand and said he'll review me getting it back in a month or two. I get to work with the Slytherins though so at least I'm with my friends!!!_

_This has stopped being exciting :(_

_Finn xxxx_

_PS Why would you want to straddle girls?!?! And surely if you did they'd just beat you up?!!? I don't think my legs would even be able to straddle Phasma. I must ask Hux this the next time I see him!!!"_


End file.
